As I write this, I have a cup of black tea in my hands. It tastes has no sugar and tastes surreal. While growing up I never understood how people liked any sort of beverage without sugar. It doesn't taste so bad now. In fact, anything with too much sugar reeks of calories and that’s not something that I would want to reek off. Adulthood is not just turning 21, but so much more than just your age. It’s doing and loving things you never understood or could fathom in the first place, it’s things like coffee or tea without sugar, it’s travelling alone, it’s engaging in conversations about life and death. It's enjoying the little things in life.
The first time I realised I was growing up was when my father picked me up on his shoulders went for a walk, put me down, and never picked me up again. The minute I became aware of this fact, I grew up. The second was turning 21, falling ill on the same day as my birthday. I sat in my room, alone and binge watched ‘Friends’ with a cup of hot soup - this was probably the best birthday ever.
Although, I am still feeding on my parents money and can not even manage to earn one-fifth of what they send me. Basically, I’m broke most months of the year. I don’t even know if I classify as an adult anyway, but Universal Adult Franchise says so and I can vote a government to power and that I can get away with things with the argument “Ugh, let me be mom! I am an adult after all, I can take care of myself!”
The amusing fact that my conversations, or rather gossip with friends has rapidly transgressed to the kind of discussions our families indulged in when they got together and all the kids were kicked into a separate room. This transition into adulthood has been disappointing on many occasions yet it has been rather thrilling. I don’t know what my future holds for me. I don’t know if I will even get placed into a decent, well-paying job or manage to make a mark in the industry.
There are random thoughts that clutter my mind. Am I good enough? Will I be just another faceless human being that walked the earth or will the generations yet to come talk about me? Do I have the potential? Or am I an average person under the impression that I have the extraordinary ability to make a mark on the world? The fear is, maybe I don’t. The thrill is the possibility of having that infinite potential and that’s what I like about this phase of life we’re going through. We question ourselves and everything around us, we look for inspiration, we make friends that we hope will stay, we also make ‘friends’ who we think will get our work done. In the last leg of college my college life, I knew we were capable of completely ignoring the insecurities of our future, all we need are our earphones. Still, there’s a constant and growing struggle in our heads which we deal with it in our own way, as adults.
We, as ambitious 21 year olds might not have the power or capabilities to change the world, but we believe we can, and that’s what all of us need to keep telling ourselves. The desire to bring about a change and the possibility, no matter how minute and statistically non existent, of being the change.
No comments:
Post a Comment