We human beings are social animals and are born to communicate. It is true that we cannot survive without interacting with others. As an extrovert, my social life has always been a priority because I've always associated being busy and surrounded by people with being happy. I'm sure others do too.
Why do people like being surrounded by others all the time, is a question that I have begun to ask myself lately. What is it that draws people to each other? Why can't people be alone and enjoy their own company? This brings me to the main argument of this blog : How many of us are comfortable being alone, with our own thoughts and imaginations? I'm guessing, not a lot of us.
A few hours before writing this blog, we had a session wherein we spoke about the need of communicating. Many of my classmates came up with various arguments such as the sense of belonging or the need to feel accepted, the fear of missing out and feeling insecure about the things you've missed out on. This is true, but is it also possible that we might want to spend some time alone with our thoughts, just the two of us? I don't think many of us would be comfortable being alone for longer than a few minutes. Have we ever thought about it - we are literally never alone. Even if there is physically no one around us, we probably have at least two forms of technology around us that can connect us to the outside world in just about any form of virtual communication and we do not refrain from using them to keep up with our surroundings.
Most of us have struggled with being alone. We thrive off the energy of others and that's our source of happiness. We always need others around us and this is one of the reasons we over-schedule ourselves - to go out, work, meet people and interact. I have been living in a different city since 2014, initially the idea of spending weekends alone at home and not having enough friends would frustrate the hell out of me. Especially, when you're living in a city like Mumbai. I felt like lost, even though I was in a brand new place with brand new people. It was hard to be okay with letting things take time. I missed my people back home, but with time I managed to make a great set of friends, and Saturday nights didn't seem so bad anymore.
This last move to Pune has been different, but not as weird as I'd expected it to be. I vowed to myself that I would take the right amount of time to establish myself. With that, I've been working on trying to understand why I've never been at peace with being alone, and I’m trying to figure it out. The only obvious conclusion I have come to is that my constant need for the company of others means I'm not comfortable within my own skin. I've never understood how someone could be happy as an introvert and how he or she actually enjoyed that much time alone, but now, I'm actually starting to enjoy it myself. This does not mean that I have stopped interacting with people. But once in a while, it’s nice to just sit with an empty mind, peacefully think about things and introspect without feeling bored.
The one thing that being alone teaches us is to listen to our own thoughts and feelings, that sometimes get lost in the company of others. Soon, we also realise that we have become extremely dependent on our adeptness to talk to anyone at any time. By not taking time out for ourselves, we have been stopping ourselves from being confident on our own selves and in our own skin. There is no doubt that it is really hard to find and listen to your own voice when you are in the midst of others and their voice.
There's something to be said about stepping into a cocoon for a little bit, even if it's just for an hour or two. Listening to your own mind helps so does finding peace in the silence. If you realise that you’re being forced to like yourself, at least try figuring out why you don’t. A little self-realisation never hurt anyone. It's hard to ignore yourself when you're the only person in the room and it’s high time we make peace with our own self in this era where technology has become our new best friend. Start to cherish your own company just to reconnect with yourself.
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